Butterkuchen
Grieving, Family and the Butterkuchen
December 1973
It was our first Christmas without Daddy. His heart attack with sudden, his death shattering. No one expected that the vibrant businessman, who brimmed with energy and enthusiasm would die without warning. Soon after his funeral, Mother insisted that I return to college. I wanted to transfer to the University of South Carolina, so I could be with her. But as it is usually the case, Mom was right. Mamas know these things. It was the right thing to do. I returned to college, even though it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Now looking back, I can only imagine how hard it was for Mom. Almost a year after Daddy’s death, I came home for what we all knew would be a lonely and difficult Christmas time. Our first Christmas without Daddy.
My cousin Kay, who lived nearly four hours away in bustling Atlanta, with its nerve-wracking interstate traffic, wanted her mom to spend Christmas with her and her family. Kay’s mother, my Aunt LaFond, most certainly wanted to visit, but she was reluctant to make the drive to Atlanta by herself, let alone wrestle with Atlanta drivers, most of whom think of speed limits as suggestions. So, understanding her mom’s reluctance, Kay asked my mom and me to come to Atlanta and bring along Aunt LaFond. So, we agreed to spend that Christmas with Kay, Bob, and their kids.
Now I don’t know for sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Kay understood that the first Christmas my mom would spend without her husband would be very lonely and painful. Being somewhere else might ease the pain. It’s the kind of thing my cousin would do. If that wasn’t her idea, it still had the same effect. That first Christmas after Daddy died would have been painfully empty and sad, but the hubbub of all that was going on around Kay’s house certainly helped ease the pain of that first Christmas without Daddy. Mother was a very private person, so I can’t be sure if it had that effect on her, but I suspect it did. She had a delightful time in Atlanta. She talked about it for months afterwards.
Kay’s husband’s parents were visiting as well; so, with all those people and the kids it was a bustling Christmas, indeed. Bob welcomed us with such easy warmth. I know it couldn’t have been simple, but he made us feel right at home. Bob’s mom, Eleanor, had brought a wonderful dish with her. Her ‘Buttering Kuchen’ was delightful. We had this decadent coffee cake for breakfast a couple of mornings. You could get a slab of it and a cup of coffee and life was good. Mother loved the dish and as all proper Southern women do, she asked for the recipe. Eleanor generously shared the recipe. Funny thing is, I don’t think Mother ever actually made it.
Since that Christmas I’ve carried that recipe with me. It is so much more than just a recipe. It is a constant reminder of the love and compassion that heals and restores brokenness. I’ve learned that it’s actually called Butterkuchen and that its origins are from Northern Germany. I also filled in a few blanks from the original recipe. You have to know that good cooks sometimes leave things unsaid. When one cook gives another cook a recipe the obvious steps are frequently omitted.
I think one reason I kept this recipe through all these years is for what it represents: people who cared for us in a very difficult time. This recipe reminds me of Kay Kunis, and Kay reminds me that there are a lot of very good people in this world. Kay is one of the very best.
Butterkuchen
Ingredients
4 c. plain all-purpose flour
3/4 c. sugar, (use a full cup for a sweeter kuchen), plus 2 additional tsp. for the yeast
1 tsp. salt
1½ sticks butter
¼ c. very warm water
1 package yeast
2 eggs
1 c. milk
Ingredients for the filling
1 stick unsalted butter, melted
3/4 c. sugar
1 large egg
3 tbs. water
4 tbs. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/8 tsp. salt
1 c. nuts (pecans, walnuts or other)
Instructions
Sift together flour, sugar and salt. Work in butter. The texture should be coarse and without chunks of butter.
Pour the warm water into a cup and add the yeast and 2 tsp. of sugar. Let rise until bubbly which will take about 10-15 minutes. It will double in volume.
Beat the eggs and add the milk. Add the egg/milk mixture to the yeast mixture and mix well.
Add egg/yeast mixture into the flour and mix well.
Make into rolls or loaf. Let rise to double, about 1 hour.
Punch down dough, and press into the bottom of a 9x13 inch casserole. Spread the dough evenly in the pan. (Tip: Rubbing your hands with oil makes the dough much more manageable.) Carefully make the edges slightly higher than center. Cover, and let rise until puffed, about 45 minutes.
Whisk together all the filling ingredients until smooth. Press down center of risen dough, then pour in filling. Or poke a series of holes throughout the kuchen, then pour the butter all over the kuchen letting butter fill those indentions.
Bake until golden brown around edge (filling will still be wobbly but will continue to set as it cools), about 30 minutes.
Let cool on a wire rack. Serve slightly warm or at room temperature.
